Episode #5: In Which Lady P Discovers Sparkly Fabrics and Ponders Violating the Prime Directive

Jan21

Lady Pendleton, Damian Ashby’s eccentric aunt (see the epilogue to Treasuring Theresa on Susana’s web site), is visiting Susana from the early 19th century. She’s intrigued by life in 21st century Toledo, Ohio, and, of course, Susana is thrilled to have the opportunity to pick her brain about life in Regency England. It certainly gives her a great deal to write about in Susana’s Parlour!

Susana (To the Reader): Today we are shopping for the fabric for the Regency ball gown I mentioned in the first post about Lady P’s visit. We postponed the trip for a couple of weeks because we thought there was going to be a big sale at JoAnn’s at the end of the month. Actually, we discovered the sale was already over! But Lady P was far too wired for shopping to tolerate another delay, so we forged ahead to the fabrics. As you might imagine, Lady P was overwhelmed by the selection!

Lady P: Here I thought Ellington’s Emporium well-stocked with the latest textiles! They have nothing on this-this Joanne’s…is that the name of the linen-draper? Or perhaps his wife’s?

Susana: Joanne’s, yes. It’s a national chain—that is, there are many stores of the same name around the country for those who enjoy sewing and handcrafts.

Lady P: So there isn’t any person named Joanne, then?

Susana: I don’t really know. No one here, at any rate.

Lady P: Young people! Too self-absorbed to ask obvious questions! Goodness! Are those tiny diamonds woven somehow into the cloth?

Susana: Oh no, just something sparkly. Sparkly is the fashion these days.

Lady P: Yes, I see. Everything here is glittering like treasure. Goodness, I’d love a gown made up of this aubergine material. Little sparkling flowers all over it! What about you? I daresay this would become you as well.

Susana: Uh, no. Purple is definitely not my color. And besides, I’m looking for a fabric similar to what was used in 1813 England. Sparkly fabric would be a dead giveaway.

Lady P: What a pity. These are so beautiful. I have half a mind to have a whole new wardrobe made up to take back with me to my own time. Why, I would be a sensation! The talk of the town! And dear Theresa could use some new additions to her wardrobe after her latest lying-in. She’s expecting her third, you know. Amelia came first, and then little Charles Robert, the heir. Named after her father, you know.

Susana: How lovely! I’d love to meet Theresa someday. But…no, you can’t take back anything from this time period when you return to the 19^th century.

Lady P: Poppycock! Of course I can!

Susana: Anyone who watches science fiction knows that you can’t meddle with history. It has to follow its natural course. Otherwise, the future might evolve differently and people like me might not even exist.

Lady P: Well, of course that would be a shame, but then, if you didn’t exist, you wouldn’t even know it, would you?

Susana: Hmm… no, I suppose not.

Lady P: Perhaps the new future would be a better one than it would have been. Have you considered that?

Susana: Well, uh, not really.

Lady P: Even so, Susana, I hardly think that taking back a trunk of new gowns with—what do you call them–—sparkly fabric?—would upset the future world all that much.

Susana: Well, perhaps not, but how would you explain having such unusual gowns in the 19^th century? If you tell the truth, who will believe you? At best, they will confine you to Bedlam. At worst, they might burn you at the stake as a witch.

Lady P: Nonsense! Witches are no longer burned at the stake in England, Susana.

Susana: Nonetheless…

Lady P: I shall have to think on it. Now… if you must have the sort of fabric from my time, let’s look at the silks and muslins and see what we can come up with. I still think you would look well in orange or yellow…

Susana (to the Reader): They told me finding the appropriate fabric for a reproduction gown would be difficult, and they were right! Sparklies aside, they just don’t make fabrics the way they used to. After several false starts, we finally settled on the cream taffeta pintuck for the gown and the blue satin for the coat. And we’re making a chemise as well. The gown is supposed to be lined, as is the coat, and I’m wondering how comfortable it will be to wear five layers of fabric in a crowded exhibit hall at the convention. Can we get away with not lining the gown and hoping that the chemise keeps it from being too revealing? Decisions, decisions!

In the meantime, I’ve been showing Lady P some episodes of Star Trek that feature the Prime Directive. As much as I enjoy having her here, I am not keen on disrupting the past and thus inadvertently starting World War III. But it’s an uphill battle. She seems to grasp certain concepts quite quickly, but those she finds inconvenient she persists in misunderstanding. Like a few other people I know.

As always, please comment if you have any specific questions you’d like Susana to pose to Lady P while she is here.

The Lady P Series

Episode #1: Susana’s Adventures With Lady P: The Introduction

Episode #2: Lady P Talks About… Pride and Prejudice?

Episode #3: Lady P and the Duchess Who Lost a Billion Dollars

Episode #4: Lady P and the Face On the $100 Bill

Episode #5: In Which Lady P Discovers Sparkly Fabrics and Ponders Violating the Prime Directive

Episode #6: Lady P Dishes the Dirt on the Duchess of Devonshire

Episode #7: The Political Exploits of Lady P and the Duchess of Devonshire

Episode #8: Lady P and the Prince Regent’s Illicit Marriage

Episode #9: In Which Lady P Depletes the Cooking Sherry During Her Discussion of Caroline of Brunswick

Episode #10: Lord Byron: Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know

Episode #11: In Which Lady P Talks About Hannah More and the Rights of Women

Episode #12: Lady P’s Revelations Regarding George III and His Peculiar Progeny

Episode #13: Lady P Discusses the Luddite Uprising, the Assassination of Spencer Perceval, and the General Unfairness of Life

Episode #14: In Which Leticia, Lady Beauchamp, Pops In For an Interview On Her Personal Acquaintance With Princess Charlotte of Wales

Episode #15: Lady P On Assignment in 1814 Kent

Lady P Quizzes Jane Livingston, the Hero’s Sister From “A Twelfth Night Tale”

Episode #1: Susana’s Adventures With Lady P: The Introduction

Dec29

Susana (to the Reader): I first met Lady Pendleton when I was writing Treasuring Theresa: The Epilogue, where Theresa—now Lady Granville—accompanies her husband to London to take up their social duties. Theresa did not have a successful Season seven years before when she first came out, and she was definitely not looking forward to this one. Her own Great-Aunt Tabitha was elderly and not in health, so Damian’s Aunt Agatha—his mother’s younger sister—came to the rescue. She accompanied Theresa on her rounds to the modiste’s and the linen-draper’s and the other shops in order to acquire a wardrobe suitable for a countess. While Lady Pendleton’s sense of fashion may be a bit on the outrageous side, she did give Theresa much to think about when she suggested that it was her own immaturity that was to blame for her unsuccessful Season.

Lady Pendleton: Well, really, Miss Ellis. Do you consider that a proper introduction? You say my fashion sense is outrageous, when what you are wearing—well, in my day a young lady would never have been seen wearing trousers, let alone skin-tight hose like Henry VIII used to wear—or so I’m told. I’m not quite that old, you know.

Susana: I do apologize, my lady. Please call me Susana. I was simply referring to your… uh… unusual color choices and spectacular headwear. You were rather… ahead of your time, I believe.

Lady P: How would you know? You were not born yet. I lived it!

Susana: Well, I’ve read quite a lot of Regency romance novels, you see, and—

Lady P: Romance novels, indeed! I used to find them in my daughter’s room and took them for myself. (Completely unsuitable for a young girl, doncha know?) Have you read A Sicilian Romance? The Mysteries of Udolpho? No? Mrs. Radcliffe had much more of a sense of the dramatic than your… what was her name… Nora Roberts? Where are the castles? The dark, mysterious barons? The exotic locales? Not to mention innocent young girls. In my day—

Susana: But surely Georgette Heyer’s Regencies—

Lady P: Pshaw. Her stories never had any drama. Although I did rather like that Frederica character a great deal. Had spunk, that girl. Reminds me of my niece-by-marriage, Theresa. And myself, of course, when I was younger. We make our own style, you know, while the others merely follow it.

Susana: I see. Well, if that’s the case, perhaps you could help me in a little sewing project I’m planning. A Regency gown with a matching pelisse. I’ve purchased the pattern already.

Lady P: The pattern? Oh, I see. Rather a plain style, but I suppose with the right material—and some ruffles and bows—we can remedy that quite easily. Do you sew, my dear?

Susana: Well, I have a sewing machine, but I’m a better cook than seamstress.

Lady P: A machine? For sewing? Preposterous! In my day, all young ladies could sew a fine seam, although I own that I never made my own gown. Mostly handkerchiefs and doll’s clothing until I got older and worked my own chair covers. But…you say you can cook? I don’t suppose you have some tea and biscuits handy, have you? I’m sharp-set and parched after traveling two centuries through time! Quite exhausting, really.

Susana: Well, I have some chai tea and a package of Oreos…

Lady P: I suppose that will have to do. Although I have to say I have never heard of chai tea, and…what else did you mention?

Susana: Oreos. A sort of cookie…I mean biscuit. Chocolate with vanilla in the center.

Lady P: Chocolate? In a biscuit? Singular. Well, get on with it, girl, and afterward, we shall head for the linen-draper’s to look over his selection of material for your gown. I think bright orange might do well for you…

To be continued

Next installment: Lady Pendleton and Susana search for appropriate fabrics at Joanne’s in Toledo, Ohio. While you’re waiting, take a look at Susana’s “Regency Fabrics” board on Pinterest.